Two
by AnImaginary Mann
Summary: Caught between love and duty, she made a choice. Years later, destiny stepped in, forcing her to confront the ramifications of her decision. The wheels of fate serve the inevitability of love. But what's love to Bella? Drabble fic - Collaboration between MinaBR and AnImaginary Mann.
1. Chapter 1

**AN1: **Hey there *waves*

This Drabble is a Collaboration between MinaBR and AnImaginary Mann - the former writing as Edward, the later as Bella.

Two Updates a day until the Epilogue.

We hope you enjoy.

**AN2: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. No copywright infringement intended.**

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As I watch the snow falling outside, I cling to the illusion of warmth this cosy coffee house provides. However, the inescapable truth is that there is no reprieve from the coldness enveloping my heart. I'm a man doomed to wallow in sorrow and dream of a do over, for my happy ending came long ago in the form of a love that should have overcome any obstacle, endured any proof... and it would have, had it not been for me. The recklessness of youth prevented me from seeing the extent of my idiocy, the repercussions of my thoughtless actions.

There is the old hopelessness carving a hole within my chest, the familiar guilty for altering the course of destiny and the pain of knowing that she has forgotten me. There is also a new feeling lurking in the fringes, a spectrum of will, an almost urge to reclaim the life that should have been mine. Yes, it should have been mine... but I made the choice and she stuck by it, now both of us have to live with the consequences of immature behaviour and poor decisions.

The howling wind sings a lament for my lost love, the one for whom my heart still bleeds.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN1: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

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"Mom, Alice took my necklace."

"Alice, I have already told you that your sister's things aren't toys."

"But mom, they are pretty and I want to play with them! Why does she always get the pretty stuff?"

"Alice, don't test my patience."

"But mom..."

"NOW!"

The pouting face of my baby daughter almost makes me crumble, but she really, really needs to learn some manners. I blame it on her father – that man indulged her way too much.

"You heard mom, give it back."

"You are a ho."

My baby daughter thinks that calling her bigger sister a "ho" is witty... You know, because her name is Rosalie. Having kids really screwed up my sense of humour because I find myself biting the insides of my cheeks to keep me from laughing at her lame joke.

"Alice, you are grounded."

"But mom..."

"No, buts young girl. Go sit on the stool and think about what you did."

"Okay."

"And you Rose, stop laughing at your sister."

"Yes, mother."

And then there is silence... I hate it, because whenever my mind isn't otherwise preoccupied, it dwells on the color of his eyes and the timbre of his voice... Unhealthy memories of a man I'd rather forget.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

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Nursing the lukewarm coffee I didn't bother to drink, I am brought back from my reverie by a gentle tap to my shoulder. A pair of startling blue eyes gaze at me with interest and barely concealed lust. Despite the several layers of clothing, it's easy to discern the curves of a well proportioned woman. An inviting smile graces her lips, beckoning me to ask her to sit. Though she is truly a tempting woman, there is too much darkness within me to engage on seduction. Understanding my reluctance, she huffs and walks away – a princess unaccustomed to the word no.

She doesn't know that meaningless encounters have been my lifeline for much too long. I'm wary from the comfort found in alien arms while daydreaming of my beloved. Countless nights, I sought brown eyes and shinny dark tresses, for I needed the illusion of having her in my arms once again. Inside those foreign bodies, for just one blessed second, the years melted and my sins were atoned. On those sanctified moments of oblivion, my soul was healed and we were whole again. However, the blissful feeling of completeness never lasted. Reality always destroyed the dream, leaving me only regret and emptiness.

Weary from feeding myself lies and stolen moments of paradise, I no longer seek the transient joys of the flesh.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

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"This is so unfair! If daddy were here I wouldn't have to sit on the stool."

Jacob, the husband to whom I dedicate less grief than I should. Lost in combat over eighteen months ago, there is little to no chance of finding him alive. Some nights I pray for a body, just so we can truly move on with our lives. Poor Alice is the one who misses him the most, but I just wish she would stop mentioning him. I know it's selfish and unfair, but I can't stand the pain of losing my best friend, the one who stood by me in my time of need.

"Honey, we've been through this..."

"Yes, but you are wrong. I still dream of him! I know daddy is coming back!"

"No, he isn't. Stop being such a little brat! You are upsetting mom!" Oh, Rose... sweet, overprotective Rose. I know her intentions are pure, but still...

"Rose, don't say these things to your sister. She is little, in time..."

"Mom, she is eight – old enough to understand that dad is lost to us."

"No, mommy... Tell her..."

My poor little angel is sobbing, her broken little face asking for a confirmation I cannot give.

"We can always hope, baby. We can always pray."


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

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Happy noises come from the outside, reminding me from the life that keeps on happening despite my sombre mood. The cold weather is no deterrent to the energetic kids running through the snow, blissfully unaware of the bitter man observing them. A little girl with bouncing chocolate tresses fills my heart with unbearable longing. Her cheeks are rosy and some of her teeth are missing, but to me she is perfect for she reminds me of the daughter I never had.

Averting my eyes, I fight the tears blurring my vision. The emotions I've suppressed for so long are fighting to come back to the surface. Maybe it's the time of the year that is threatening to destroy my carefully cultivated self-control. It was a day like this when I issued the unfair ultimatum that broke me apart from the only woman I've ever loved. She cried and pleaded but I was sure that my way was the best way. Pride prevented me from retreating... from reaching out to her.

Now all I have to show is the legacy of my self-righteous idiocy, the loneliness of a man who was too arrogant to perceive the necessity for caution, the pull of obligation.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

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"Stop crying, you two. Otherwise, I will get all emotional and end up crying and I spent way too much time putting on make up to smear it with tears."

The tough general is in the house. Rosalie doesn't really know how to cheer someone, that's why she always goes for the bitchy comment. Anger is more useful than tears – oh, the things my too wise thirteen year-old says... How she can be Jacob's daughter – she sunniest person I've ever known – is a concept I can't fully grasp.

"You suck."

"Alice, apologize to your sister."

"Sorry Ro."

"Mom, she called me a Ho again."

"Alice, apologize like you mean it. Rose, quit looking so satisfied. You've been through this, girls. Please, behave."

As they begrudgingly apologized to each other, I realize that the first snow of the year came a bit earlier than usual. Excited, I think about dispelling the tension by suggesting that we should all go outside and play. I'm startled by the sadness marring Rose's beautiful face.

"Mom, that's something we used to do with dad. I don't want to upset you, but I don't think it's a good idea."

"Of course, honey. I'm sorry I forgot."

It's just another thing my kids have been deprived of... just another thing that was stolen from them.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

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A drifting wail of despair penetrates the fog of self loathing clouding my brain. The cries that follow tug at my unfeeling heart, for they remind me of times past when the capacity for emotions still hadn't eluded me. The soothing voice of her concerned lover tries to convey hope for a happy ending. The empty promises for an unlikely outcome are met with disbelief and a fresh bout of tears.

A teenager on the brink of parenthood is bound to be scared of the responsibility of raising a child. However, I'm out of charity with the unknown girl, for there is no greater gift than holding a child conceived in love. I can barely refrain from marching down to their booth and telling them not to waste their good fortune...the good fortune that she denied me... the good fortune that my hasty actions made impossible.

The grief for the daughter who was never conceived is as real to me as the loss of her prospective mother. They belong to another reality, where laughter and love fill my days. There I am a complete man, instead of the vacant shell that strives to forget the faces of the family he never had.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

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"Maybe we should have some cookies."

"No wonder you are chubby – you only think about food."

"Mom, Rose called me fat again."

"Rosalie, we've been through this – don't say this kind of things to your sister."

"But mom she is fat."

"Rosalie, your sister's weight is completely normal. And Alice stop making faces at your sister. What's up with you two today?"

"Sorry mommy."

My little Alice is a people pleaser. While her sister only cares about being true to herself, not caring about how hurtful her words can be, Alice will tell the most shameless lies as long as it makes people smile. I am well aware that I shouldn't have a favourite, but I can't help the extra dose of tenderness that my sweet little brat inspires in me.

"I'm not sorry. Alice is fat and the sooner you two acknowledge that, the better."

"Rosalie! I told you..."

"Her weight is completely normal, I know. But she gains a single pound she will be considered overweight. Don't even try to deny it."

Sometimes, I feel like wringing Rosalie's neck. I have the only kid in the world who never lies... even when she should. Poor Alice is crying, her eyes begging me to deny her sister's statement.

"I think I'm in the mood for cookies too."


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

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A day spent in idleness isn't a treat I've be known to enjoy. The sorrows of my wounded heart only quiet when my mind is too engaged to wonder or too tired to function. Consequently, I take more shifts than I probably should, cover for any colleague in need and always offer to work on the holidays. Overworking is the best coping mechanism I could find, for it doesn't require facing the truth or dealing with repressed emotions.

But today I astonished myself by calling in sick. Today my long dormant heart pulled me towards an unknown destination. My feet seemed to have a will of their own as they roamed the streets, carelessly walking me to a place she used to love – this charming little coffee shop. For years, I systematically avoided this neighbourhood, going to great lengths just to escape the memories this place evokes.

Now, here I sit on the verge of a breaking down, even though my rational mind reasons that it would be wisest to simply walk away. However, there is an almost inaudible voice beseeching me to stay, begging for me to endure the pain for just a little longer. I don't understand why I must stay, I just feel deep within my soul that my life is about to change.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

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"Don't be sad, mom. I didn't want her to come, anyway. It'll be way more fun if it's just the two of us."

Alice, the little peacemaker. Being a teenager, Rosalie decided to annoy me by refusing to come with us. She said she didn't want to get as fat as Alice... a comment that resulted in another wave of tears from Alice and false reassurances from me. Maybe Rosalie was right, maybe I indulged Alice more than I should... but she had already lost so much that I didn't have the heart to deny her anything.

"Don't worry honey, I'm okay."

"Then why is your face all scrunched up?"

"Because I'm old and old people get wrinkles."

"You are not that old, are you?"

"I'm 32, do you think that's old?"

"I don't know. But you are way older than me."

I can't contain the laughter – talking to my Alice is always a delight. However, she quiets when we both spot a parking space. The "no-talking-while-mom-is-parking" is a security measure to avoid accidents – I hate to admit but parking a car is my Everest. I don't want an encore of the accident that almost took the life of my beloved Rose.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

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A gust of freezing wind announces the arrival of another unfortunate soul seeking refuge from the unforgiving weather. The comings and goings of the other patrons fail to capture my attention, for my mind is engaged in a battle against my heart: one wants to forget, the other longs to remember. However, the exuberance of a happy voice yelling for cookies cannot go unappreciated. Such pure demonstrations of untainted joy are rare, and I'm curious to see the lively little girl who lifted my rusty facial muscles in a tentative smile.

My eyes find the angel smiling at the attendant; her deep blue eyes are sparkling in excitement, her chubby hands reaching for an oversized cookie. She bears no resemblance to the daughter who inhabits my dreams; still my arms ache for her. Confused, I try to identify the reason behind my unusual yearning. The answer is in her delicate features, her pretty little nose, her slightly fuller lower lip. The raven haired girl reminds of my one true love, the one I lost so many years ago.

Displeased by the direction of my thoughts I decide to leave. Outside my life waits – it's time to put a stop to the bizarre mood that has taken hold of me. However, my decision comes too late, for the past bursts through the door and I can no longer pretend that I am unbroken.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

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I'm not out of my seat belt yet, but Alice is already running across the street. I'm not an irresponsible parent – I've installed all the child security devices imaginable, but still she manages to do as she pleases. How she works around them is a mystery to me – one of the many drawbacks of trying to raise a precocious child.

"Alice! Alice! Wait!"

"Sorry mom, but I need cookies!"

"Alice, if you don't stop right now you won't be getting any cookies. Do you hear me?"

"Yeap, but I'm not stopping."

Just like a drug addict, Alice does anything to get cookies; including taking advantage of my disability. Stumbling, I try to get to her as fast as I can. But even after all of these years I still haven't adjusted to my limitations. Seeing that she has safely crossed the street and entered the coffee shop, I slow down – she will be safe with Angela.

Taking a deep breath, I steel myself against the onslaught of emotions bound to assault my mind once I enter this place. Uncharacteristically, the exercise does nothing to calm the thumping of my heart or the misery of my heavy soul. Puzzled but unafraid, I come through the door expecting to see the same old faces. Instead, I find myself staring at the past, trapped by his unfathomable gaze.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

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Unlike the idealized heroines who inhabit romance novels, time hasn't spared her from bearing the indelible proofs of its passage. Inclemently stripped from the sparkle of youth, her delicate features blossomed into something far more alluring – true beauty, the kind that only comes from within. An aura of quiet dignity surrounds her, speaking of courage in the face of adversity; emphasising the wisdom in her eyes. She is the personification of female resilience and I am in awe of the person she has become.

My peripheral vision basks in these glorious details while my eyes don't stray from hers. Ensnared by her magic, I refrain from moving, breathing, over thinking it ... If this is a dream I don't want to wake up, if this is madness I want to embrace it – I just don't want to feel the pain of losing her again.

However, this moment is real, for I can see the wariness in her eyes. Once they had been the portal to her hidden truths, the key to her heart. Today they betray so little – mainly the need to deny the past and runaway from the present.

From my lips the forbidden word erupts, a whisper of a name I haven't pronounced in many years. At this simple gesture the spell is broken, and she turns away from me.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

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Seeing his lips mouthing my name effectively frees me from the torment of his stare. I don't need the pain of walking down memory lane – I can't afford the risks, I can't conquer my fears. I've made my choice. Dwelling on alternative paths won't benefit me in anyway. On the contrary, it has the potential to destroy the peaceful life I share with my family. I have to uphold my promise... I have to get out of here.

"Alice! Where are you?" I'm making a scene, but I don't care. I have to find Alice before escaping this place.

"I'm here mom. I already ate two cookies, Aunt... "

"Come here, now."

"But mom..."

"NOW! Don't test my patience." Her big blue eyes gaze at me with fears and astonishment – I never raise my voice at her, I am never commanding.

Despite her quivering lips and teary eyes, she promptly obeys my order. My heart constricts, because I am hurting my child, but I don't have the time to reassure her. Time is of the essence – I can't let him come to me.

Taking her hand, I walk away without glancing behind; trying to mask my limp as much as possible.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

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Shattered under the weight of her rejection, my defence mechanisms perish. Indifference and detachment are an impossibility when confronted with the reality of seeing her depart once again. Frozen by the horror of her frantic need to evade me, I'm powerless to voice my feelings or move my limbs. I'm the victim of my derailed memory that perfectly recalls the last time she walked away from me.

My hands curl into fists, for I notice that she is collecting the little girl with the cookie. Jealousy consumes my resurrected heart, for the little girl is the proof that she has a life without me. Unlike me, she has moved on, and I resent the fact that she was able to do it while I exist suspended in time. Avoidance has trapped me inside a limbo where memories threaten and the future is an unfulfilled promise.

Reconciling with the past isn't a possibility I've ever entertained, but suddenly I feel the need to find closure. Years of self-imposed isolation and recrimination should be enough to atone for my sins, for I am ready to stop existing and start living. The greatest act of bravery is baring the truth to someone who yields the power to hurt you. On this unusual day, I choose to be brave ...

"Bella! Bella, please wait."


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

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"Bella! Bella, please wait."

My frantic mind can barely grasp the concept that he is following me. Where are his pride and the aplomb? I can't reconcile this man chasing a woman who so blatantly rejected him with the man whose arrogance sent me on my way years ago. Part of me wants to talk to him, but the bigger part wants to forget about this meeting.

"Mom, who is that man?"

"Alice, get in the car."

"But mom ... "

"Now, Alice."

This time a little tears rolls down her chubby cheek. I'm assailed by guilt, but I also know that unless I manage to extricate ourselves from this situation, she will be hurt deeper and permanently. For my everlasting relief she obeys, because at that moment he catches up with me.

"Bella, I need to talk to you."

"What's left to say? It's all over and done with."

"Maybe for you, but not for me. Bella, I know that I'm the one who put a final end to us, but I've never moved on, not like you have."

Pointedly looking at my putting angel, there is no mistaking the meaning of his words. Despite the pain of knowing that he wants to forget me, I'm compelled to give him what he wants.

"I can't talk to you right now. Give me your card – I promise I'll call you and make an appointment. Then we will talk."


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

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The love of my life still hasn't forgotten me ... Rather than being pleased by this staggering revelation, I find myself feeling sorry for him. Maybe I shouldn't, since I haven't truly moved on from him either. But he deserves better than pining for a broken woman who will never be his. As for me, I don't really have a choice: I'll love him forever. I'm not sure if meeting with him is the best way to help him forget the pas, but I have to try.

Alice is unusually quiet, and when I look in the rear-view mirror I don't see tears in her eyes. They are actually shining with compassion and understanding, an unusual expression on a eight year old.

"Don't worry, mom – I won't tell daddy when he comes home."

"What do you mean honey?" My heart is hammering inside my chest. I send a silent prayer to the heavens, because I can't deal with one of Alice's insightful moments right now.

"That you are in love with the man from the coffee shop." Tongue tied and slack jawed, I simply stare ahead. It's a long time before I can respond.

"What gave you this impression, honey?"

"For a moment there you almost looked happy, mom. Happy like I've never seen you before."


	18. Chapter 18 - Flashback

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

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The snow keeps falling while I stand on the sidewalk watching her drive away from me. My mind is troubled by an unwelcomed parallel between today and the most fatidic day of my life – the day when the sight of her retreating form wasn't enough to remove me from the altar of self-righteousness. Realizing that, despite my initial intent, I cannot deny how my love is unwavering, all-encompassing, unforgettable ... There is no moving on from her, for she is the other half of my soiled self. I recognize that I don't want to forget, I just want a stolen moment to be with her.

The gaping hole within my chest, the one I spent the past few years ignoring, makes itself known. Doubling in staggering pain, I brace my hands against my knees, fighting for my every breath. Contemplating the white, pristine snow, I'm reminded that underneath its veneer of purity lie the spoils left by the passersby. Though far from the eyes, the world will be reminded of the ground's uncleanness once the ice loses the battle against the warmth of the sun ... just like my frozen heart lost the battle against the repressed memories of our shared past.

Seeing her was all it took for the dam of denial to break, and just like that, the rivers of memory take me back to a time when I still had a soul.


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

From this chapter on, Edward remembers his past history with Bella - a major flashback.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

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A long shift was coming to an end, and my only thought was that I would finally get to sleep in my own bed. However, my dreams of comfort and warmth were chased away by the call of an indispensable opportunity. The only granddaughter of The Chief of Medicine had just been admitted to the E.R. due to a car accident.

Being a young doctor, I was doing my best to prove that I could live up to the high standards imposed by the hospital's administration. However, the stern Dr. Swan had taken a dislike to me for a reason known only to himself. The harder I tried, the more disdainful he got, to the point where even my colleagues noticed his attitude.

Far from being discouraged, I realized that I had to keep a low profile and wait for a chance to prove myself worthy of his respect. Knowing that I would need allies, I befriended the nurses by treating them with the respect and consideration they deserved. My efforts finally paid off, for I was the doctor the nurses called when they realized who they had on their hands.

Like a general about to engage the enemy, I entered the room where destiny had scheduled a meeting between kindred spirits.


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

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The E.R. was a whirlwind of activity, and apparently, I wasn't the only one trying to impress the Chief. Undaunted, I located the nurse who had tipped me off. I was well aware that being a pediatrician, I had no business meddling with E.R. cases. But the nurse told me that she wasn't badly hurt, so I never stopped to consider that maybe her case was outside my realm of expertise. Directed to a bed on the far corner of the room, I spotted mother and child surrounded by the fawning staff.

Lying on the bed, a little, blond girl valiantly tried to hold in her sobs, attempting to appease her frantic mother. The tears she had refused to shed had misled the nurses into believing that she merely had bumped her shoulder. But to me it was obvious that she has an acute shoulder dislocation, an injury that would require a surgical intervention. Feeling sure that further exams would only confirm my assessment, I turned away without saying a word, my great chance to please the Chief would slip away, unless I managed to secure her the best surgeon in the state.

I knew exactly who I should call, and I was already planning how I would convince him to perform the surgery, when I felt a hand grasping my arm.


	21. Chapter 21

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

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One of the drawbacks of practicing medicine is the dehumanization of the patients. They become their injuries, because as doctors, we can't afford to let ourselves feel empathy towards all of them. At the very beginning of my career, I used to condemn the unfeeling manners of the doctors I worked with. But as time passed, I came to realize that putting a space between myself and the patient's suffering, was the only way I could keep my sanity.

However, as I gazed into the eyes of the desperate woman who dared to keep me from my quest, two sobering thoughts kept me from committing the biggest blunder of my life. The aggravated female was the Chief's daughter, but above that, she was a desperate mother. Sighing inwardly, I introduced myself and tried to calm her by saying that I merely wanted to consult with a specialist. I should have known better than to be condescending to a doctor's daughter.

"Listen, I know what calling a specialist means – it means that it's far more serious than you guys originally thought."

"Miss Swan ... "

"Don't sugar talk me."

"Fine, I think she needs surgery, but I won't know for sure until you let me call the specialist."

She released me, took a step back and ran inside the room. Dismayed, I realized that I had just snapped at the woman I had meant to impress.


	22. Chapter 22

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

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"... and she refuses to be treated." Apparently, Ms Swan's swollen knee merited the distress of the otherwise unflappable Head Nurse.

"And what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know. The other doctors are too afraid of getting on her bad side, but you already yelled at her ... "

"So, I have nothing to lose, right?" convince

Even though the nurse was right, I was still uncertain about her request. Convincing Ms Swan that her knee needed to be treated would be an almost impossible task. But I needed to apologize anyway, and maybe I could charm her into compliance. I wasn't a stranger to taking advantage of my looks where women were concerned.

Her daughter had already been taken into surgery, so she sat alone in the waiting room. The nurses whispered that there wasn't a husband or boyfriend in the picture, and the Chief was in Europe attending a Conference. She had no family to console her through what had to be a mother's worst nightmare, no one to hold her hand and dry her tears.

Despite our less than amicable meeting, I sat by her side and took her hand. Surprised, she gazed at me uncomprehendingly. At that moment, she was beyond rational thinking, she simply needed a friend.

"Dr. Whitlock is the best in his field. Don't worry Miss Swan, everything will be okay."

"You don't know that ... and please call me Bella."


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

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For a long time we sat together, patiently waiting for news from the O.R.. Being the daughter of a doctor Bella refrained from bullying the nurses for news, although the urge was obviously there. Eventually, Dr. Whitlock came to us, but his news was far from what we expected to hear. The anesthesiologist, Dr. Hunt, had administered an undue amount of sodium pentothal, causing her larynges to spasm, cutting the brain's supply of air, and as a result Rosalie was now in coma.

Surprisingly, Bella didn't fall apart. Instead she thoroughly questioned Dr. Whitlock about the extent of the damage and asked about the prognosis. On an intellectual level, I was aware that he couldn't give Bella the answers to those questions, but my emotions were invested, so I found myself siding with her. Sighing heavily, he used the same evasive techniques I used on a daily basis. Narrowing my eyes, I was about to reprehend him, when I noticed that Bella was sobbing.

My world tilted in its axis, because for some reason, I felt her pain like it was my own. My stubborn mind refused to dwell on those feelings, but my heart was beating frantically within my chest. My soul rejoiced, for the first seeds of affection had been planted, and soon, unbeknownst to me at this time, they would bloom into an all-encompassing love.


	24. Chapter 24

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

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The stilted cadence of suspended life lulled Bella into a false sense of impending doom. The way her vacant eyes betrayed the despair of feeling responsible for her little girl's predicament, tore at my heart. Compelled by compassion, I poured over articles about brain damage. My intent was to gather enough data to support the hope for a happy outcome. However, I found myself frustrated at the amount of diverging opinions on the matter.

Reluctantly, I admitted that, according to medicine, Rosalie might never recover. But beyond the hard, cold truths of human knowledge, lay a realm of possibilities. Probabilities meant nothing to those granted the gentle caress of the divine. Deep inside my soul, where intuition dwelled and wishful thinking reigned, no doubts remained about Rosalie's return to the land of the living. Bella needed to be freed from the bounds of self-flagellation, and I had appointed myself as her liberator.

I was a man on a mission when I opened the door leading into her daughter's room. However, all the fight left my body at what I witnessed. Bella was gently caressing Rosalie's face, singing a bittersweet lullaby to her. She was the image of love, and just for a second, I wondered how being on the receiving end of such powerful devotion would feel.

And that thought left me breathless.


	25. Chapter 25

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

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Carefully, I pried Bella away from the bed, sitting her in a nearby chair. She eyed me wearily, silently daring me to justify my audacity. I might have chuckled at the defiant set of her jaw, if I hadn't seen how much she hurt for Rosalie.

"Bella, you need to take care of your knee."

"My child is in a coma! I won't leave her, for a bump on my knee!."

"Calm down, I'm not asking you to. Just sit here, let's elevate your leg and put some ice on it."

"No, I want to ... "

"Bella, she will need you. Not limping and dragging, but whole."

"What if she never wakes? What if I killed my daughter?"

"Bella, your logic is so flawed that I won't even bother to dispute it. Right here, right now, what matters is having faith, because medicine can offer you no guarantees. You have to fight for her, to believe that she will come back to you."

"I know all of that, but there is this feeling that nothing will be okay ... That she ... Oh my God, I can't bear it ... "

For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, I put my arms around her.

And it felt right.


	26. Chapter 26

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

Unfortunately, at that exact moment, Chief Swan walked in. I can only imagine what he thought, but judging by his demeanor, it was safe to assume that he perceived my maneuver as one that was meant to take advantage of Bella's delicate state of mind. Grimacing, he snatched her away from me. I didn't linger, for my company was obviously unwanted.

Later that day, Dr. Swan called me to his office. Known for his unnerving gaze and direct manner, he didn't waste any time with pleasantries.

"I don't want you anywhere near my daughter."

"Chief, it wasn't like that – I was merely trying to comfort her."

"Really? You tried to take advantage of my personal tragedy to move up your career. When that didn't work, you tried to ingrain yourself in my daughter's life. Do you deny it?"

"I saw an opportunity and tried to take it, I won't apologize for that. But when I realized that I was out of my depth, I called a renowned specialist and backed away. What you witnessed was me soothing a distressed mother, nothing more."

For a long time, he simply studied me. Any other day I would have fidgeted nervously, but not that day. Deciding to be brave, I voiced the question that had been troubling my mind for quite some time.

"Why do you dislike me so much?"


	27. Chapter 27

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

My boldness caught the Chief off guard, but soon he regained his composure.

"You remind me of myself at your age."

Taken aback, words evaded me, though my mind frenetically sifted through the implications of his statement. Noticing my confusion, he sighed, apparently I wasn't the only one surprised by his answer.

"I was as driven and ambitious as you are. Nothing in the world meant as much to me as furthering my career, not even my family. Truth be told, they were nothing more than a bother, an unpleasant obligation.

"One day, my wife left me. The sad thing is that I was relieved. With them out of the way, I had more time to dedicate to my career.

"I became a successful, bitter, lonely man who realized he had lost the most precious moments of his life.

"And then came you, history repeating itself. I resent how much your mere presence rubs salt on my wounds.

"My daughter already had one of me; she doesn't need another. Stay away from her."

I could have taken advantage of the situation, but seeing the sorrow in his eyes I felt something shift inside of me. Nodding my assent, I walked out of his office while making a silent vow to never allow myself to become like Dr. Swan.


	28. Chapter 28

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

Try as I might, my mind had a will of its own; often turning to the forbidden fruit: Bella. The need to comfort her was very much present, despite my resolve to abide by the Chief's wishes. On more than one occasion, I inconspicuously pried the nurses for information. The answer was always the same, Rosalie's condition remained unchanged. From afar, I watched Bella's despair, and it never failed to bring to the surface the overwhelming need to hold her in my arms.

Nevertheless, I kept my distance. I believed that I did it out of respect for the Chief, but looking back, the foolishness of my reasoning is glaringly obvious. Care and concern were the polite masks that disguised the untimely longing that Bella inspired. Our acquaintance, as brief as it was, awakened my heart to possibilities and dreams I had never entertained before. However, it is a well know fact, that throughout history, men have been known to be oblivious when it comes to the matters of the heart.

And I was no exception. Two days after my conversation with Dr. Swan, five days after meeting the love of my life, I took a fellow doctor out on a date. She was beautiful and smart, but I didn't accept her invitation to spend the night; my heart was telling me something that my mind wasn't ready to acknowledge.

But at the time, I wasn't entirely aware of what that could mean.


	29. Chapter 29

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

Gathering my courage, I gently knocked on the door. I had spent the better part of the former night trying to dissuade myself from visiting Rosalie's room. But as I entered, a feeling of relief washed over me. It was as if I was where I should be.

The warmth in her gaze when she greeted me had my heart pounding painfully within my chest. A small smile graced her sweet lips, a way of signaling that I was welcomed. Bella was brushing Rosalie's hair, softly humming a song unknown to me. Surprised by the tears prickling my eyes, I nervously tried to conceal my burst of emotion by engaging in mindless, incessant chattering.

Something in her eyes told me that she wasn't fooled by my diversion technique. But she refrained from commenting, thus allowing me to keep a shred of my dignity intact. Our conversation was punctuated by long pauses, each of us lost in our own private worlds. In those unguarded moments, Bella's beauty transcended the boundaries of appearance; it emanated from within, from an abnegated soul and a giving heart.

And suddenly, I knew why I had broken my promise to Dr. Swan. My heart had fallen in love, while my mind was busy plotting ways to gain the Chief's favor.

Confliction was running rampant ...


	30. Chapter 30

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

The once neatly tracked, steadfast path of my life, was somehow becoming blurred by the allure of an alternative road. The single minded pursuit of my professional ambitions had led to years of sacrifice and self denial a pattern that I could see stretching into the future. I had never been intimidated by that prospect, mainly because I never entertained the possibility of a different life.

Giving up love and its trappings had never been difficult before. However, love finally had a face, and my heart ached for a lifetime of memories with her. I could see myself as a loving husband, as a father figure to Rosalie, as the doting parent of a little girl who looked just like her mother. And every single cell in my body throbbed with the intensity of my yearning.

But my mind was of a different opinion. Marriage was something that belonged in the far future, when I had already achieved all of my professional goals. She would have to be a woman of the world, sophisticated enough to understand the demands of my career and never make demands on my time. Bella didn't fit the mold, therefore the only sensible decision would be to walk away from her.

I was still under the illusion that I had a choice in the matter, but as I prepared myself to say my final goodbye, the truth would make itself known.


	31. Chapter 31

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

It was a simple gesture, her hand grasping mine while she cried in gratitude. Rosalie's eyes were fluttering slightly, filling her mother with the unbridled hope that she might soon be awakening. Bella had been so lost in despair that I couldn't bring myself to crush her hopes. Instead, I smiled and told her that everything was going to be all right. Her answering smile took my breath away, and my heart was irrevocably filled with love for her.

From then on, I spent all of my free time with her. Surprisingly, it wasn't about winning her affection, I simply wanted to be near her. Of course, I worried about the little girl. Despite the opinions of the specialists that Dr. Swan had summoned, I still believed that Rosalie would wake up and make a full recovery. I never shared my sentiments with Bella, but somehow she sensed that I shared her hopes, and it gave her the strength to carry on.

Two weeks after the accident, as I sat peacefully beside Bella, Rosalie opened her eyes and croaked something akin to "mama". Leaping to her feet, Bella crushed Rosalie against her chest. Sobbing and laughing at the same time, Bella showered Rosalie with kisses.

They were the picture of love, and I wanted them for myself.


	32. Chapter 32

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

Soon, it was time for Rosalie to leave the hospital. The conversation I had been postponing was upon me, and I still hadn't figured out what to say. I invited Bella to this cute little coffee shop I had discovered – it was near the hospital, but so secluded that very few of my colleagues patronized it. It was the perfect set for romance, but words evaded me – she was too important. Tongue tied and frustrated, I could only pray for a miracle.

Rescue came from an unexpected source: Bella herself. Her words were hushed and her cheeks tinted with pink when she asked me if I'd like to have coffee some time – funny since we were already having coffee. She was sweetly nervous and unsure, and it made me fall in love with her a bit more. Smiling softly, I gave her my phone number and told her to call me anytime she wanted.

There was a spring in my step when I walked the otherwise, gloomy hallways of my working place. Not even Dr. Swan's glares and veiled promises of retribution could diminish the hope for the future that bloomed within me.

I was in love and maybe, just maybe, she was halfway there.


	33. Chapter 33

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

The coffee shop was the scenario of our encounters. As time went by, both the length and the frequency of our meetings increased; until the point when there was no denying that we were actually dating. Bella had to work around Rosalie's schedule and mine, but she always managed to find the time to be with me. Sometimes, she would bring Rosalie with her, but I didn't mind – she was part of the package, and an excellent bonus, as far as I was concerned.

Our relationship, evolved slowly, as a courtship straight out of the good old days. A part of me relished the way we truly got to know each other, but another part yearned to feel the contours of her body pressed against mine ... the texture of her tongue ... the feel of her skin. It wasn't lust, at least not entirely; it was more about the need for intimacy ,,, than about sexual satisfaction.

A month into the relationship, we were lazily strolling down the park when it finally happened. Under the falling trees of autumn, I looked into her eyes and let my emotions run free. Our kiss was soft and unhurried, punctuated by soft whispers of "I love you", from both of us.

And I knew, at that moment, that I would never be the same...


	34. Chapter 34

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

The idyllic bliss of love, found itself extended throughout months of our growing intimacy. Lazy afternoons spent in the park, seeing Rosalie play and sharing delicious food ... Cozy evenings, snuggling on the couch ... Days filled with sweet text messages ... My nights were spent dreaming of the woman I hoped to marry, and the beautiful little girl she would give me.

However, there were still secrets between us. Whenever I tried to broach the subject of Rosalie's father, Bella became withdrawn and nervous. Fearing that Rose was the fruit of a traumatic event, I stopped pressuring for answers. As for Rose herself, she rarely talked to me – she was too busy with her imaginary friends. Besides, I didn't feel comfortable questioning a child just to satisfy my curiosity.

In the long run, it didn't matter to me. The father obviously wasn't in the picture, so I would raise her as my own. Satisfied with myself and my chosen course, I planned a special occasion to make everything official. I had already found a new job, far from the disapproving eyes of my soon to be father-in-law, and bought the house that Bella had one day pointed to as her dream home. Rosalie was staying with her grandmother and I had a ring in my pocket.

Little did I know that happiness was coming to an end.


	35. Chapter 35

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

It was a carefully planned night. In the garden of the house we would soon be sharing, we shared a spectacular meal, lulled by the soul-filled sound of the unseen violinist. Underneath the stars, we danced for a long time until Bella asked to sit for a while. It was time ... but my throat constricted around the words I wanted to say. My heart was beating frantically, my palms sweating ... What if she said no? Was it too soon to take such a significant step?

Fear and longing battled within me. This night could mean the demise of my dreams or the start of forever. It was humbling how much Bella had become essential to my own happiness. She alone held the power to elevate me to heaven or condemn to hell. Fighting for control, I kneeled before her and looked into her eyes – they were shining with love and acceptance. In her gaze I found the courage to ask the most important question of my life ...

"Bella, I love you more than I ever thought possible. Marry me, my love and let us be a family: you, me and Rosalie. Give me another daughter; bear me a son."

"Oh, Edward." She peppered my face with kisses while tears ran down her cheeks. Her next words, though unexpected, led me to believe that she had accepted my proposal

"Make love to me."


	36. Chapter 36

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

Taking her hand, I guided Bella to our recently furnished bedroom. I went to great lengths to assure her comfort, should she choose to further our intimacy after the proposal. Anxiety battled with the need to make the occasion special, but one look at my love, slowed the pace of my increasing lust. She was shy and nervous, but patient, as I coaxed her desire to the surface. Flushed and panting, she was a sight to behold – a goddess of love brought to life.

The feel of her naked skin under my coveting hands had me almost weeping in awed desire. Her body was a temple of understated femininity, and I paid my tributes gladly, eagerly. She was a quivering mass of need, an echo of my own feverish flesh, when our bodies joined in the timeless dance of love fulfilled. Completion came much later, not as physical gratification, but as an explosion of emotions, a fusion of souls.

We held each other for a long time after. I didn't feel the need to talk, for I believed that everything that mattered had already been said. Once again, I would be proved wrong. Bella was out of the bed, already redressing when she uttered a phrase that filled my heart with dread.

"Edward, we need to talk. I have to tell you about Rosalie's father."


	37. Chapter 37

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

The extent of Bella's deception soured the love I felt for her. Despite her pleas for understanding, I couldn't stand being in her presence. I needed the perspective that only distance can afford. But even in my anger, I needed to feel close to her and the coffee shop where we used to meet seemed to be the perfect place to do some thinking.

Sitting in a quiet corner, I opened the gates of memory and rehashed the startling revelations of the woman I had hoped to marry. Bella was married ... to Rosalie's father, Jacob. Childhood sweethearts, married young due to an unplanned pregnancy. After years of struggles he joined the Army as a means to provide a steady income for his family.

Bella said they argued a lot, that their marriage was as good as over. She told me that she had asked for a divorce, but he said they would talk about it when he was back from Afghanistan. Allegedly, they didn't talk a lot, and the little they did was more about Rose than anything else. She was going to ask for a divorce, even if I hadn't come along.

That night I buried my dreams of untainted bliss. Should I choose to stay with Bella, I would have to carry the memory of her treachery for the rest of my days.

Was she worth the heartbreak that decision would cause?


	38. Chapter 38

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

The answer should have been obvious, but it wasn't.

Notwithstanding the undeniable love I felt for her, doubt and distrust tinted our story with the unsavory color of perfidy. She was never mine to love or to dream of. Every moment, every dream had been a stolen moment of another man's life – her husband. Her lies had cast me in the role of the villain, trying to break apart a happy family, and I didn't care for it, not one bit.

However, even in my darkest hour, I couldn't completely malign her. I pursued her, I tempted her, and I won her affections ... my ardent suit, coupled with a failing marriage had led her to behave dishonorably. On an intellectual level, I could understand her and even forgive her actions. But my wounded pride called for satisfaction, clouding my brain with the unholy need to exact revenge.

For weeks I held on to my silence, despite her numerous attempts to contact me. Self-righteousness is a poor companion, and my need for her, got the best of me. Yes, I still wanted answers, but I would have her, no matter what. Feeling magnanimous, I extended an olive branch; I called her.

The meeting that would break us apart had been set.


	39. Chapter 39

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

Before me she sat, a contrite angel of questionable virtue. Her downcast eyes and uncomfortable demeanor pleased a vicious streak within me that I never knew existed. I planned on making her earn my forgiveness. She didn't need to know how my arms ached for her, that I would hold inside. After exchanging stilted greetings, silence fell upon us. It didn't bother me, but she could barely stand it

"Edward, I'm sorry. I can't even begin to tell you ... " She was sobbing the words, frantically trying to hold my hands.

"Stop, save your excuses for later. For now, I want answers, honest answers. Do you think you can do that, Bella? Be ing honest?" It was a cheap shot, but I couldn't help myself. Before taking her back, I had to make her suffer, it was the only balm capable of healing my severely beaten pride.

"Yes, Edward." She looked so small, so deflated ... I wanted to protect her from my wrath, but refrained – she needed to learn.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"At first, I was too worried about Rose to even realize that I never mentioned Jacob. I was so mad at him ... I couldn't reach him, our child was most likely dying and he wasn't there. I hated him for joining the Army, even more than I did before. I have no excuses for not telling you after Rose woke up . Maybe I wanted to hold on to you for a while longer ... maybe I was afraid you wouldn't understand ... I was a coward, plain and simple."

"What were you afraid of?" Ruthless bastard that I was, I needed to devastate her pride in order to salvage mine.

"I was afraid that you would see me differently, that you would decide I wasn't worth the trouble. Edward, nobody ever looked at me, not really, only Jacob, and I've always seen him more as a friend than a lover. Then you came along: gorgeous, smart, kind. I thought you were a little fantasy, that soon you would come to your senses. So, I indulged myself by accepting everything you offered. But you asked me to marry you! I never thought you would. That's when I knew that I had to tell you the truth ... and I knew that you wouldn't want me anymore. I was ready to let you go, but I can't. I love you so much. Edward, I have ... "

Forgetting decorum, I fell to my knees and hugged her. Seeing her misery had broken my resolve to make her pay, therefore I comforted her. For long minutes, she sobbed on my shoulder. When she quieted down, I took her face between my hands and told her that I still wanted to marry her.

Instead of the joy I expected to see, her face reflected only despair. Squaring her shoulders, she fixed her gaze on a distant point to my right.

"Edward, things have changed."


	40. Chapter 40

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

_Things have changed ..._

Was her love so fickle that she had already forgotten me? For long minutes this question tortured my poor, abused heart. However, my mind urged me to notice the grim set of her mouth, the unhappiness in her eyes ... Whatever had happened to alter circumstances was clearly something beyond her control. Feeling that she needed some time to gather her courage, I sat myself back in my original place and patiently waited for disaster to strike.

"Edward, Jacob came home two days ago. He is ill, Edward – he has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. I can't leave him now, he needs me. Despite everything, he has always been my best friend ... "

"And what am I, Bella?"

"The love of my life! That's why I need you to understand that ... "

"What? That you feel an obligation towards him? I can live with that! You can help him, but I can't bear for you to continue with this lie!"

"Edward, I can't burden him with our marital problems now!"

"So, what are we supposed to do? Meet in secret? Haven't we sinned enough?"

"I don't know! Maybe we could be apart for a while ... "

"So that you can play house with your husband? Do you even care about my wellbeing? Have you stopped to consider what you are asking of me?"

"Edward, I'm sorry ... This is such a mess! I don't know what to do ... I don't know ... "

"So, let me help you. You are going home, you are packing your belongings and you are moving in with me. You will be filling for a divorce and we will get married. That's what you are going to do!"

"Edward, be reasonable! I can't ... "

"You can and you will. Either choose me or him, there isn't a third option. If you choose to help him, we are over! Do you hear me? Over! I will never want to see or hear from you again!

Come on, I'm waiting!"

"Edward ... "

In retrospect ... it was such a foolish ultimatum . I should have realized that Bella couldn't bear to hurt Jacob at that time, he was the weak man, the one who needed her the most. I didn't even try to put myself in her place, choosing to hold on to my anger, my jealousy.

As a result I cast aside the woman I loved, condemning myself to a half-life, one of agony and longing.


	41. Chapter 41 - Back to the Present: Bella

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

The flashback is over - we are back to Bella.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

"Mom, how is it going to work?"

"What do you mean sweetie?" I am being deliberately obtuse, but I need time to organize my thoughts.

"Mom! You know I mean when Dad comes back! Will you tell him that you are in love with the coffee shop guy? Are you going to divorce Dad?" My heart clenches in my chest. So many things stand in the way, so many lies keeping me apart from my one true love.

"Alice, I will never divorce your dad."

"But why Mom? You don't love him as you love that other guy, right?"

"Baby, this is a grown up problem. Let me handle it, ok?"

"Mom, come on…"

"Alice, I'm not kidding – stop, now!"

Stricken, Alice's lips tremble. Whenever she cries or gets upset, her face looks remarkably like his… It is such a painful reminder that I can't bear the view. Maybe that's why I indulge her so much.

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't want to be mean."

"It's ok, Mom. I just want to see you happy."

Getting out of the car, she runs inside the house. I bet she is telling Rosalie about Edward – another dragon I'll have to slay.

Will Rosalie remember him?


	42. Chapter 42

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

"Alice had some interesting things to tell me."

"Don't play games, Rose. Just say what you want."

"Mom, I know Dad is gone. I'm the first to say that we have to move on, but I can't stand the thought of you going back to that man."

Although I have no intention of going back to Edward, I bristled at the cavalier way in which my daughter is trying to control my life.

"And why is that?"

"Mom, you cheated on Dad with him. I was little, but I remember. I remember how much Dad yelled at you, how nervous he was all the time, even with me. If you hadn't gotten sick, I'm sure you two would have gotten a divorce, despite Alice. Besides, Edward hurt you, Mom … Do you really want to go through that again?"

"Rose, there are some things you don't know about your father. Maybe it's time we have a chat."

Telling my daughter about her father's PTSD and the circumstances of Alice's conception is hard. But, as the practical little woman that she is, she pays attention and asks well placed questions.

"God, Mom, what a mess. What are you going to do? Are you meeting him?"

"No, I can't. I made a promise that I wouldn't."

"Maybe you should." Said the voice of the only person who could release me from my vow, startling us both with his appearance and his response.

...Jacob.


	43. Chapter 43

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

For hours, the girls mob their father with questions and affection. He indulges them, pushing aside the exhaustion of the long trip home. Eventually, I step in, telling the girls that their father needs to rest. Silently thanking me, he gets up and tucks them in, even though Rosalie is long past that stage. They are the perfect picture of familial love, and I'm grateful for being part of their lives.

Sitting on our bed, I recall the moment I first realized that he was back. I flew from my seat into his arms, my heart bursting with love and joy. The last one I can understand – he has always been a dear friend. It's the first one that puzzles me – it's not something I'm used to feeling towards Jacob.

Eventually, he makes his way to our bedroom. He looks at me steadily, like somebody contemplating an unsolvable mystery. There is a bittersweet quality on the smile gracing his lips. In his eyes I find the wariness of a man who is ready to say goodbye. There are many questions to which I need answers, but I discover that I'm afraid to ask. So, I let him shower and eat. Making silence an ally against the impending conversation I'd rather not have.

But it's to no avail – Jacob won't be deterred by my stalling antics

"Bella, thanks for the meal. I know you have a lot of questions, but first things first. Today we are going to talk about us."


	44. Chapter 44

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

"Jacob, there is nothing to say. I swear I didn't break my promise. It was a chance meeting – I was simply buying Alice some cookies when we ran into him."

"He saw Ali?"

"Yes, but nothing happened."

"Bella, I believe you, okay? Now, please slow down. I have a lot of things I'd like to say, but it's going to be hard. So, don't interrupt me, please. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, Jake, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry I'm the one who has a lot of grovelling to do. Bella, the way I handled things was wrong. We were married young, too young. I was in love with you, I really was, but I also resented you. I was a lousy husband to you: inattentive, whinny and even rude. One day, I woke up to the reality that I was losing you. So, I decided to get up from my lazy ass and do something for my family and I joined the army. But then you said you wanted a divorce... I couldn't bear it. I was finally making an effort and you were ready to walk away. When I Ieft that day, things between us were unclear."

"Jacob, please. I don't want to talk about it. I don't think... "

"Bella, this is important. I know you don't want to rehash the past, but I need it, you need it."

"Why, Jacob? Why now?"

"Because I had a lot of time to think about things and I came to the conclusion that it's time to stop pretending. We both deserve to have a real life, to find real happiness. I'm tired of seeing you sad, and I'm through with resenting you. I need to say these things, Bella. Will you listen?"

"Yes."

"Good. When I came back, I was so broken and you were there for me. I thanked the heavens for giving me such a loving, devoted wife. But then you went out one day and came back broken. For days you stayed in bed, weeping. And I realized that I had to make an effort – I had to get better because you needed me - that was the start of my healing process. Everything would have been fine, if you hadn't fallen ill. I took you to the hospital and the truth about our time apart came out in the worst way imaginable.

"I was angry and terrified... so many ways to lose you, so little argument to keep you. Then suddenly you were sick, vulnerable and scared. And instead of being supportive and caring, like a real man, I took advantage of you. In essence, I blackmailed you.

I said I would forgive you of your transgressions if you promised to never contact him again.

"But it was a lie Bella, because I've never forgiven you, not really. I begrudge all the time you spend looking at the horizon, daydreaming about him. I hate how you never smile or look at me with love in your eyes.

"That was then, and this is now. We are going to handle it on a mature way, this time around. I want you to go to him and tell the truth."

"Jacob! That's unfair! You can't possibly mean..."

"Bella, I stole so much from him. I don't want to live another man's life. You have to go to him and sort things out. I love you and I suspect I will always love you, but I don't want you back unless you come to me whole. I don't want a shadow of the woman you used to be – I want the girl I fell in love with."

"Jacob, I'm scared."

"I know, baby, but I have faith in you."


	45. Chapter 45

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

Faith, that's something I lost long ago. My youthful illusions of eternal love could not withstand the trials of becoming the villain of my own love story. Selfishness led me to believe that I was entitled to have all my dreams come true, but life is more complicated than that. Sometimes, the princess is the one who hurts the prince, and the scoundrel standing in the path of true love turns out to be a loving husband.

When I was young, my choices were taken away from me by an unplanned pregnancy. Although I've never begrudged my daughter, I resent the fact that I was forced into a marriage I didn't want, with a man who never inspired the type of love the books describe. That kind of overwhelming passion came much later, with a beautiful man who fulfilled all my dreams of love.

However, I'm not the princess of his dreams, never was, never will be. And if I am to tell him about the years we spent apart, I'll become irredeemable to his eyes. Even the illusion that we will one day reunite will die. And what will be left of me then?

This question tortured my mind all through the night, and even now, as I walk the quiet streets in the wee hours of the morning, I still don't know if I can afford to lose my dreams.

My dreams of Edward.


	46. Chapter 46

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

An elderly couple hold hands while gazing at the horizon. The wind is blowing, and her snow white curls whip around her face. The man gently tucks them behind her ear, an affectionate smile brightening his otherwise austere face. She looks at him with love in her eyes. They are the picture of happily-ever-after, the kind of love that lasts through a lifetime and beyond.

My heart clenches and my stomach churns – they are everything I've always longed for, but somehow I don't think I will ever get. I've spurned Jacob's love because I was dreaming of Edward. I've mocked Edward's love by telling him lies and half truths. I'm the one to blame for all this mess ... three people hurt by my inability to deal with my own feelings.

I lacked the emotional maturity to handle an adult relationship – I know that now. I couldn't handle being a fulltime mother and wife, so I blamed Jacob. Then Edward came along, and instead of being honest, I tried to hold on to the girlish notion of a fairy tale love. I was a girl trapped inside of a woman's body. For me, growth came later, with painful decisions and real sacrifices.

Now I know what I want .

And in order to get it, I'll have to own up to my mistakes.


	47. Chapter 47

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

Confronting the man that broodingly studies me has never been easy.

Since the most tender age, I've built him up to be the strong untouchable man, the one I could always admire but never get too close. My father isn't the approachable sort, but today I need to face my own fears.

Unlike my mother, who encouraged me to pursue a relationship with Edward, my father advised me against it. At first he was afraid that Edward would hurt me, but in the end he told me that what I was doing to Edward was despicable, and that he was ashamed of me. I never spoke to him after that day.

And now I am here, swallowing my pride and asking for his forgiveness. It isn't easy, humbling myself to the one person who didn't spare me from the ugly reality of the choices I was making.

But he surprises me, by getting to his feet and hugging me fiercely. My strong, sombre father is crying openly, whispering how much I mean to him. This is the first time I've ever felt the healing power of forgiveness, and I'm awed by how easily it was offered to me.

All I had to do was asking for it ...

Could it really be that easy?


	48. Chapter 48

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

My next stop is the coffee shop.

Before facing the most difficult task of my life, I need some friendly advice. Throughout the years, Angela had become my safe haven, the one person with whom I shared my innermost thoughts and desires. She had witnessed my blossoming relationship with Edward, our break up, my depression... that's when she stopped being a mere observer and became a true friend.

In her, I found understanding and acceptance. That's why I'm telling her about the unbelievable events of the past twenty-four hours.

"Bella, what are you going to do?"

"I'll tell him the truth."

"And then what?"

"I honestly don't know, Ang. Jacob gave me the option to walk away, should I choose to. But will Edward still want me after everything I have to say? And even if Edward still wants me, will I be willing to give up Jacob?"

"But you told me that you see Jake as a friend, not a lover."

"Isn't friendship part of love? Maybe I've been deluding myself, maybe love is supposed to be quiet, understated. Maybe love is the security of knowing that no matter what, your partner is going to be there for you."

"If that is how you see it, where does Edward fit?"

"He is passion, and the sweet allure of a dream that didn't come true. Or maybe he is my one true love. We never had the chance to find out. That is why I'm so confused."

"Then go to him – you can't reach a decision without hearing what he has to say."

She hugged me as I left the coffee shop.

On my way towards the conversation that would break one heart, but heal the other two.


	49. Chapter 49

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

Lights and decorations remind me that Christmas is just a week away.

Tears spring to my eyes. My husband is home and yet I can't manage to feel as grateful as I should be. This is all because of my stubborn heart's refusal to let go of Edward. On the other hand, there is the possibility that my prince charming could come back in my life if our talk goes well. But I'm afraid he won't be able to forgive my lies and deception. And they all can be traced back to the promise I've made to Jacob on that fateful day.

My feet carry me to the place where I should have lived my fairy tale. After the night of the proposal, I carefully avoided ever coming back here. The house looks exactly as I remembered, and I feel overwhelmed with nostalgia. This is the castle of my dreams, the place where I should have raised my children and lived the rest of my days.

An unexpected feeling of bitterness washes over me. From the looks of it, the place is obviously inhabited, but it shouldn't be, nobody should live here ... no one but me should be happy here. This is my place, where I belong. Both anger and sadness thrum through my body when I see the door opening – the door that should have been mine, in the home that we should have shared, living the life that should have been ours.

However, it isn't the face of a stranger that emerges.


	50. Chapter 50

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

The wheels of fate have turned, and as a gust of wind brought by the flight of a harpy, the holder of my heart has materialized before me. Her beauty has faded some, her eyes no longer sparkle with kindness and joy, the grim lines of her lips betray how little she smiles these days ... but she still is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

And here she stands, in the shrine I've built in honor of our love. Seeing her entering the house that should have been ours, gives me the clarity to realize that I've always hoped for her return. The fog of grief and anger has finally been lifted from my heart and mind ... the sun is shining again.

Past and present combine into an amalgam of joy and hope. Looking inside my heart, I discover that all is forgiven and that no matter what she tells me, she is my soulmate, therefore as essential as air. I love her as the spring loves the flowers, steadily and thoroughly.

Watching the apprehension marring her lovely face, I make a vow to the benevolent deities that brought her back into my life. This time around I won't let pride and anger get in the way of true love.

But it will have to be her choice ...

Today, all my dreams will come true, or be irrevocably crushed.


	51. Chapter 51

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

It's surreal, the love that is pouring out of him. Every gesture, every shy smile conveys a depth of emotion that heightens the magnitude of my betrayal. Contempt will soon replace affection, so I bask in the glory of being loved – this is the memory I want to keep, to nurse me through the hardships of life and to guide me into the afterlife.

As I sit in the living room that should have been ours, I can't help but notice how bare of human warmth it is. There are no pictures or personal touches ... it's a room just out of a magazine, beautiful, but lacking a soul. My mind has always shied away from contemplating how Edward was affected by everything that happened. However, looking around this place there is no denying that I wounded the very core of the man I love.

He says nothing, patiently waiting for me to gather my thoughts – that's Edward, always striving to please. It only compounds the crushing guilt I already feel, so I clear my throat, and despite my sweaty palms and galloping heart, I brave the silence

"Edward, I'm sorry for disturbing you. I didn't mean to pry, I simply wanted to see this house again; I really didn't know you still lived here."

"It's okay, Bella. There are so many things I just realized ... The reason why I kept this place has never been clear to me, but now I know; it was because I still love you, so very much and ... "

"God, Edward, please don't! Don't say anything you will regret!" His entire face crumples at my interruption. He thinks I'm rejecting him, he doesn't know that soon he will be the one rejecting me.

"Why Bella, because it will make it harder on you? Well guess what, this time I won't make it so easy for you to walk away from me. I want you, do you hear me?" His countenance is fierce, determination transforming his face into a mask of uncompromising will.

"Edward, just hear me out before saying your piece, okay?"

"Why Bella? Nothing you say will change my mind. So, why waste any more time?" He truly believes his words ... and it breaks my heart, because he is about to discover just how rotten is the woman who stole his heart.

"Please indulge me." At his silent nod of acquiescence, I proceed. "After we parted in the coffee house, I sank into a deep depression. Things were really bad ... there were days when I didn't get out of the bed. Then one day I made the effort, but I got dizzy and fell to my knees.

"The pain was excruciating. Although my knee has never quite healed from the accident, it never hurt that bad. The doctors ran a lot of tests… and in the end they found out that I had osteosarcoma in the proximal tibia. I had an above the knee amputation."

I keep my eyes down – I don't want to see the pity in his eyes. A choked sound comes from him, and suddenly he is kneeling in front of me. He tries to hold my face and take my hands, but I don't let him; I don't deserve his sympathy. But he is undeterred by my reticence.

"How did I miss this? I'm a doctor! How could I have ... Bella, why did you have an amputation? Unless there was neurovascular encasement ... Oh, God! If I had paid attention you wouldn't have needed to ... What happened, Bella?"

He was crying openly, desperation tinting his every word. I ached with the need to comfort him, but refrained. He wouldn't want to be in my arms, not after hearing everything I had to say.

"After being diagnosed with cancer, the doctors did a lot of tests. Eventually, they discovered that I was pregnant."

"Alice..." Came his astounded reply. I can see that he finally understood the severity of the choice I had to make. I wanted to live, but I also wanted to keep my baby. Back then chemotherapy wasn't recommended to pregnant women ... neither was surgery, but it was the lesser of two evils. It stopped the cancer's progression, buying me time to safely deliver Alice and then get the treatment that I needed. Of course, the safer decision would have been terminating the pregnancy, but I couldn't bear the thought of losing my Alice ...

"It was a tough call, but I don't regret it. I lost a leg, but gained an amazing little girl."

"I know, baby. I'm so proud of you ... You are so brave, my love."

It becomes too much, I get up from the couch and walk to the window. The sight of him hurts too much, for I'm about to vanish whatever is left of him. Could I do it? Should I do it? But the choice has been taken out of my hands

"Bella, how old is Alice?"


	52. Chapter 52

**AN: **Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

Unmitigated agony descends over me; this is it: the final straw.

Whatever tender feelings he still nurtures for me are bound to disappear after he hears this. But the time to hide is over.

"Alice turned eight this past September. She was conceived on the night you proposed. She is your daughter, Edward."

I hold his gaze. I am determined not to cower from his wrath.

I want it.

I deserve it.

If he needs to smack me around to vent his temper, I will take it. In his place I would do the same. But it isn't anger that encounters my revelation, it's something a lot more gut wrenching.

Sadness.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Fear, idiocy ... I can't justify my actions, the best I can do is explain my mindset back then.

"You see, I had just learned about the cancer. Jacob was there, holding my hand. When he heard about the pregnancy ... that's when I told him everything. He simply stood there, taking it all in. The second I stopped talking, he turned on his heels and left. I was frightened beyond measure. I had a child to raise, another one coming, a disease, and no one but my flighty mother to help me.

"He came back much later and his anger was gone. He said he understood why I had gone to you. He promised to stand by my side and to raise Alice as his own. In return, he made me promise that I would never contact you ... that you would never know that Alice is yours.

"I've known Jacob all my life, and I know that he doesn't make empty promises. There was so much bitterness between you and me . You said you never wanted to see me again ... You see ... "

"You said you wouldn't try to justify your actions, Bella, so you should stop right now." The cutting remark is delivered with a voice of steel. He won't make this easy on me, but I didn't expect him to.

"Why now, Bella? Why are you telling me this now? Is it because of our chance meeting? Why Bella?"

"Jacob gave me permission."

The sound of glass breaking startles me. He is throwing all the pretty vases against the wall, his face contorted in pain. It doesn't take him long to unleash the verbal assault I had been dreading.

"You kept my daughter from me! How dare you assume that I wouldn't care for her? Do you know how many nights I spent yearning for a little girl who reminded me of you? And all this time she existed! How dare you make such a choice for me?"

"I was stupid and afraid, but I should have known better."

"Yes, you should. Don't think for a second that you will keep Alice from me any longer. I want to be her father. I'll see you and your husband in court!"

"Edward, that's not necessary, we can work something out. I realize how wrong I was ... "

"Empty words, Bella. I'll destroy the two of you ... I'll sue for damages or whatever. I'll ... "

"Please, Edward, don't do this. I love you, don't you see?"

"You chose your husband over me, not once, but twice. How is that love Bella?"

I have no answer for that, no way to assuage the desperation I see growing in him.

For long minutes, he stares out the window, crying quietly. I don't want to intrude on his private moment, but I also don't want to leave. So, I wonder to the backyard, the very place where he proposed to me.

Eventually, he comes and sits by my side. He is much calmer now, but I'm afraid that it's all a façade.

"Bella, did you ever really love me?"

"Edward, my feelings were real ... are real."

"As hard as I try to hate you, I simply can't. I see why you made the choices you did, but I can't forgive them, at least, not yet. But the thing is ... Oh, Bella, despite everything I still love you. My dreams remain unchanged, though they have readjusted to include Alice.

"The past few years have been purgatory; denied heaven and threatened with hell, I haven't been able to move on. I can't live like that anymore. No matter what, I will still want to be a part of Alice's life. Don't worry I won't take you to court, but I'm going to make sure that she knows who her father is.

"But I need you to make a choice, and this time, I'm not above pleading. I want you to choose me. Divorce your husband and let's start the life that you should have been living for the past eight years. Come to me wholeheartedly. We will find a way to heal our love and find happiness.

"This is our last chance Bella. Make us or break us, it's your choice.

What is your answer?"

The woman I used to be would have cowered under the intensity of his gaze and the weight of his question. But now I'm strong enough to face the consequences of my thoughtless actions. I've hurt Edward, Jacob, myself ... It's time to stop.

It's time to be honest, no matter what.

Two men.

Two equally good choices ...

* * *

**IMPORTANT AN: **The ending of "Two" will be **decided by you** - the readers. Who would you choose? In order to vote follow the link:

Voting is already opened, and will be closing on December 22, 10 p.m. (GMT -0300 Time) - The final chapter will be posted immediatly after the results are known.

myownbrandofidiocy . blogspot . com. br / 2012 / 12 / time - to - vote _ 19 . html

Meanwhile, enjoy two Outtakes - one in Jacob's POV and the other in Alice's POV.

**Don't forget to vote!**


	53. Chapter 53 - Outtake Jacob

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

Afghanistan was a ticking bomb. The feeling of uneasiness never really left us, but on that particular day, it was exceptionally nasty. I tried to plaster a smile on my face – an attempt to lighten up the mood. It didn't really work; the heat was excruciating and the air reeked of fear. Crossing the desert is always a risk, bomber men are always lurking, waiting for an opportunity to take some of the "infidels" with them. I won't pretend to understand the intricacies of foreign politics, but it's obvious that our interference is unwelcomed.

The convoy had been making slow progress; the conditions of the road were beyond poor. I remember looking at the landscape and thinking that it wasn't as pretty as home. From then on, everything is a blur. Sounds of explosions and gun-shots, followed by intense pain, but fortunately I lost consciousness and woke up some time later in a campaign hospital.

I was surrounded by people who looked like the enemy, but didn't act as such. Their medicine wasn't really advanced, and it took me months to recover from a head wound that would have healed much sooner, had I been treated by an American doctor. But no Americans ever came, and no one around me seemed to understand my language. It turned out that my case slipped through the cracks of an inefficient bureaucracy. No one reported my admittance in the hospital to the Army, so I was reported as missing in combat.

For a month and a half I had nothing to keep me company but my own thoughts. Going over my life, I finally realize that I've been living in denial. My family was built on lies and blackmail. My wife, the woman I've loved through all of my life, had spent the past eight years pining for another man, the same man who had been deprived of his child. For the first time, I put myself in his place, and it pains me to admit that I've been extremely unfair to him. I've manipulated her. It was a shameful act, but there was still time to atone for my sins.

The day I left Afghanistan, I made a vow to give back to Bella the choice I had so carelessly taken away from her, eight years ago.

And now, here I stand, releasing her from the promise she should never had forced to make.


	54. Chapter 54 - Outtake Alice

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

Mom doesn't know, but since Dad went missing she started talking in her sleep. At first it didn't make much sense, but as time passed she moved on to having entire conversations with me. I shouldn't know this, since I'm not supposed to sneak into her bed anymore. But sometimes, late at night, I miss seeing Mom, and I need to know that she is okay.

Before the talking started, I didn't know why she had lost her leg, or why she was always so unhappy. A couple of nights ago she cried in her sleep, calling for Edward to please take her back. Of course, I asked her about him. That's when I found out that my father isn't really my father and that my mother's heart doesn't know who she truly loves: my fake father or my real father.

I was confused and heartbroken, until Daddy came back. When he hugged me I felt that he really loved me. I felt safe and no longer cared about the truth. But now I'm supposed to meet a friend of Mom's, and his name is Edward. I don't want to meet him, but Mom says that I must ... that I have to be nice. I'm ready to be as bad as Rosalie, but then I look into Edward's eyes I change my mind: I can see that he loves me too. And it's not okay to hurt someone who loves you, right?

Smiling my big smile, the one that usually is just for Daddy, I throw myself in his arms – he really seems like someone who can use a hug. I may be little, but I think that I have enough room in my heart to love two Daddies.


	55. Chapter 55

******AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

******Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

When love is involved there are no choices to be made, no questions to be answered. Those who truly love, unconditionally and limitlessly, have no doubts about the nature of their feelings. That's why, as soon as I asked myself the question, I realized that I already knew the answer .

It has always been Edward.

"Edward, I love you ... beyond measure, sanity and time ... If you will have me, I will be your forever."

The years of suppressed passion have added a flavour of desperation to our kiss. It isn't about showing our regard, it's an attempt to consume each other. But before the flames burn higher, Edward puts some distance between us. Apprehension enters his eyes, and I already know what he is going to ask.

"Don't worry. Before coming here, Jacob and I talked. He said he is going to sign the divorce papers if I choose to be with you."

A brilliant smile illuminates his handsome features. He opens his arms and his heart to me... and I go to him. I know that we have a long way to go, and I will have to work hard in order to earn back his trust.

I will also have to work through my insecurities in order to share my new body with him. But I know that we will be okay, because we have each other.


	56. Epilogue

**AN: **Chapter by MinaBR.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, this story will be finished earlier than scheduled.

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.**

* * *

_5 years later_

I can't stop fidgeting, for I feel as nervous as a new bride. This time around, I'm finally having the wedding all girls dream of, no stinky city hall or getting married in jeans. This is a Christmas wedding , with snow and everything. I only hope that he shows up ... It's silly, since the past five years have been nothing short of heaven, but I still fear that he will give up on me one day.

My girls are giggling, obviously mocking their poor mother. I send them a glare and they respond by dissolving into fits of laughter. Fortunately, they have finally gotten to the age where they stopped fighting over silly things and became friends.

Charlie comes to collect me, and I clutch his arm for support. He looks at me worriedly, quietly inquiring if I'm all right. I just smile and shake my head. Sure I'm nervous, but also so, so happy. For at the end of the aisle_,_ the love of my life stands beautiful and proud, just as he has always been.

The story of our love isn't perfect, but it all worked out in the end. Alice got to develop a deep relationship with her real father and keep the one she always had, with the man who raised her for eight years. Rosalie has taken everything in stride, she is direct and outspoken, but also pretty laid back, just like her father.

I'm almost at the altar when I spot him, Jacob. A pretty brunette stands at his side, his right arm around her waist. Despite all the harm I've done to him, he still found it in his heart to come here and be happy for me. I only pray that he can find, with his new girlfriend, the type of love I share with my handsome groom.

But all thoughts of Jacob flee from my mind, for it's time to get married to the man who owns my heart.


End file.
